November 8th

 So this will (I think) be the last post that looks backwards - this is about life after the pause!  But I could not let this date go by without some acknowledgment.

I have lots of great events happen that changed the course of my life - meeting my husband, having children, meeting my circle.  But for me, life is succinctly divided into two parts:  before November 8th, 2017 and after November 8, 2017.  And that divide has me loathing November 8th.

This was the day I got the phone call that changed everything - it was the day I was told I had cancer.  That one phone call ended up as years of dealing with shit no-one should have to.  So I tend to get grumpy, melancholy, pissed off as that date gets closer. It is subconscious, but it happens.  And I hate that it has that kind of affect on me.

So a few years ago I decided not to fight the date, but to change my memories associated with it.  I vowed every November 8th to do something that was fun.  This year, I travelled to a cheer competition with a couple of people I adore, and I watched kids that I had seen go from little to young ladies cheer their hearts out.  We had a few drinks and lots of laughs - and it was exactly the kind of thing I wanted.  I'm hoping at some point those are the memories that are front and centre as this date rolls around.  Shifting your mind so that is the focus is hard, but if I've learned anything, it is that I can do hard things :-)

J