Now What?

So not gonna lie - I've been stressing a little about what to write about next.  Should I go back and tell you all about the difficulties I've had? Should I just focus on the now and what I'm going through? It gave me more anxiety than I would like to admit. Then I had an epiphany - who the fuck cares? I'm writing this for me, and maybe to let people who have been there know, what the reality for me was.  So why am I stressing about what order to write it in?

Can it be a bit scatterbrained? Why not...I am! Can it jump all over the place? Why not...I'm not writing a novel you have to follow from beginning to end. Pick a point, start reading and if it doesn't resonate move on. The anxiety is more about me trying to put it all together so it is coherent - but for the love of God the pause was an incoherent mess so why should life after the pause move right into making sense?

So here is what I decided.  I'm going to write whatever I want, in whatever order it comes.  It will be messy and not in order, but it will be me.  So hang on...

J